Wednesday, September 19, 2007

RUSSIAN POLITICIAN SLAMS BRITAIN

Russian buffoon and parliamentary leader Vladimir Volfovich Zhirinovsky flew into a rage during a press conference today, blustering that Britain is a nation of "bandits and criminals."

Zhirinovsky, leader of Russia’s inaptly named Liberal Democratic Party, stood next to wanted criminal Andrei Lugovoy, also a member of the LDP, throughout the press conference. Police in Britain consider Lugovoy, an ex-KGB agent, the prime suspect in the poisoning of former spy Alexander Litvinenko. British officials have been rebuffed in their efforts to extradite Lugovoy, who enjoys the full support of the Kremlin.

Zhirinovsky, a deputy speaker of the lower house of Russia’s Duma parliament, became enraged when a journalist asked him about Lugovoy’s legal troubles.

"Britain will disappear under the water one day," barked Zhirinovsky, his jowly face red with anger. "And it will serve you right...Even your sheep die every day and every hour due to your sickening British policies."

After criticizing British dentistry, Zhirinovsky moved on to the topic of foreign policy. "Britain, you keep the whole world soaked in blood. The whole world will hate you!" he shouted.

Zhirinovsky even had harsh language for the Queen: "You are all accomplices, all of you are similar bandits and criminals, your whole government, together with your Queen." The irony of making these remarks while standing next to a murder suspect eluded Zhirinovsky.

Among many other grievances, Zhirinovsky holds Britain accountable for supporting the Bolsheviks during the Russian Revolution of 1917, not fighting hard enough in World War II and promoting Chechen independence.

"Half of your embassy should be thrown out of Moscow. They are not diplomats; all of them are spies," said Zhirinovsky.

Zhirinovsky’s party holds 30 seats in the 450-seat Duma. This statistic does not prevent Zhirinovsky from making the bold prediction that the LDP will win one fifth of all seats in December parliamentary elections.

The LDP had previously announced Lugovoy’s Duma candidacy. At the press conference, Lugovoy denied earlier reports of his presidential aspirations, adding that "Vladimir Volfovich has all the qualities for the job."

With his limited social skills and churlish rhetoric, Zhirinovsky seems better suited to filling the role of "town drunk" or "social nuisance" than that of "president." There is a loudmouth drunk like Zhirinovsky in virtually every bar.

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Zhirinovsky (R) and Lugovoy (L) at press conference.

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Zhirinovsky has his own line of vodkas.

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Naked in the Russian winter.

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Swimming in an ice hole in a frozen lake.

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Zhirinovsky dons Batman costume for some reason.

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Zhirinovsky proves his virility by publicly fondling topless girls.

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Even the paparazzi refuse his rubles.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I had no idea that you had another blog out there, so now that I know, I just wanted to drop in on you. ;)