THE NUTTY NET TRAPPER

Taiwanese inventor Kuo-Cheng Hsieh has been winning some dubious accolades for his prized invention, a "Net Trapping system to Catch a Bank Robber Immediately." Mr. Hsieh was awarded an Ig Nobel Prize (in absentia) last night at Harvard University’s Sanders Theatre.

Mr. Hsieh invented his signature net-trapping system in 1999 and received a United States patent (patent #6,219,959) for his device in April 2001. Mr. Hsieh’s patent application is bursting with sad errors in grammar and syntax, like "storing box," a phrase he returns to time and again.

From the application: "The device looks like a storing box and is installed above the entrance of the business. When a robbery takes place and the system is activated, a net trapping system for capturing a robber immediately is used in a place of business such as a bank. The device looks like a storing box and is installed above the entrance of the bank. When a robbery takes place and the system is activated, an infrared detecting device determines if a robber is in a zone beneath the storing box. A net, a curtain, and a plurality of barriers will drop down immediately and simultaneously. After a lifting motor is activated, the system traps the robber and suspends him above the floor."

How the "infrared detecting device" can distinguish between a bank robber and a bank customer is anyone’s guess.

Mr. Hsieh has invested more than $500,000 in his ubiquitous storing box and net trap. Mr. Hsieh, 56, has operated his own security firm for twenty years.