CHOCOLATE JESUS RESURRECTION

Cosimo Cavallaro, the artist behind last spring’s "Chocolate Jesus" controversy, will display the sculpture in a show at the Proposition Gallery in Chelsea timed to coincide with All Saints Day (Nov. 1).

The life-sized sculpture of Jesus will be part of Cavallaro’s "Chocolate Saints...Sweet Jesus" show, in addition to eight chocolate sculptures of Catholic saints.

Invitations to the art show feature an image of the Virgin Mary with the breasts enhanced by scratch-and-sniff technology.

"It sounds pretty sick," said John Horvat, a spokesman for the American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property (ASDTFP). "Obviously [Cavallaro] has an agenda. He’s targeting very revered religious figures."

The gallery director, Ronald Sosinsky, begs to differ. "I see it as basically a show about healing. The sculptures are extremely traditional when you see them in their use of material. When you first see them they look like bronzes."

Last March, Cavallaro’s "My Sweet Lord" sculpture created a furor when it was displayed in a window at the Roger Smith Hotel in midtown.

Made of chocolate, My Sweet Lord is an anatomically correct representation of Jesus, sans loincloth. The sculpture set off howls of protest from the likes of Cardinal Edward Egan and other prominent Catholics.

A spokesperson for the Catholic League commented, "The timing was appalling. That was an up-front assault on Christian sensibilities during Holy Week."

The spokesperson added that the Catholic League will not protest Cavallaro’s upcoming exhibit because it will be limited to an art gallery where people "expect and like that sort of thing."

Cavallaro has kept the location of his My Sweet Lord sculpture under wraps due to the many threats he has received from angry Christians. He recently repaired the sculpture, which had been ravaged by rodents.

The artist insists that he is not trying to be sensational or provocative.

"When I wake up in the morning everything relates to food. I accepted the world of food and ever since then I’ve been a lot freer," said Cavallaro, who hopes the chocolate Jesus sculpture will bring attention to the fragility of life and the lived experience of Christ.

"Depictions of Jesus in plastic or wood are what I find offensive," he said. "With my work, you don’t want it to melt, so you have to be more aware of the time you have with it. It’s more alive."


Chocochrist.


My Sweet Lord.

LAST CALL IN INDONESIA

Yesterday, Indonesian officials held a public ceremony in Jakarta during which 35,065 bottles of booze were destroyed by a steamroller.

The alcohol had been confiscated from illegal vendors during the holy month of Ramadan, when practicing Muslims abstain from various activities (eating, drinking, smoking and sex) from dawn to dusk.

LUCKY NUMBERS IN BURMA

Burma is one of the most Buddhist countries in the world, surpassed only by the hermit kingdom of Bhutan. Every adult male in Burma is required to spend several weeks or months in a monastery at least once in their lives. Burma experts estimate that the country contains between 400,000 to 800,000 Buddhist monks–compared with 400,000 soldiers.

Superstition and spirituality are heavily ingrained in Burmese culture. The top generals in Burma’s junta regularly consult astrologers for advice on how to retain power.

In early 2005, General Than Shwe, the leader of the junta, built a new capital in the middle of a jungle on the advice of a fortune teller, who had told the general that the only way to stay in power was to move the capital to the unpopulated area.

In the summer of the same year, Than Shwe asked his chief astrologer when the luckiest day would be to move into the empty new town, Napyidaw ("royal land"). The astrologer gazed into the stars and responded, "At 6:37 a.m. on November 6, 2005."

At the "auspiciously lucky" moment, a massive convoy of military trucks filled with furniture rolled into Napyidaw.

In 2003, five years after crushing pro-democracy demonstrations with deadly force, the junta permitted a white elephant that had been discovered in the jungle to be brought to Yangon. A fresh temple was erected so the white elephant, a symbol of luck, could be placed on public display. Popular belief held that the white elephant signified that the gods approved of the dictatorship.

While the military dictatorship that rules Burma appears to have very few scruples, it has consistently sought the blessings of Buddha, the gods and the 36 "Nats" (Burma’s own spirits).

In the 1970's, dictator Ne Win, who ruled Burma from 1962 to 1988, wreaked havoc with Burma’s currency in an effort to please the gods. Ne Win outlawed the 100 kyat note and replaced it with the bizarre 90 kyat note. The number ninety is considered lucky in Burma, and Ne Win hoped that the new 90 kyat notes would earn him many blessings and the respect of his countrymen.

China, with its heavy-handed policies in Tibet, has not exactly been a great friend to Buddhism. In a strange twist, the fate of the tens of thousands of monks who have defied the junta by leading mass protests rests squarely upon China, Burma’s largest trading partner and traditional ally. The regime cannot possibly maintain its tenuous grip on power without the continued aid and support of its neighbor, China.

Chinese diplomats recently advised Burma’s generals to seek a peaceful outcome through moderate democratic reforms. Yesterday, however, as Burma’s military opened fire into a crowd of thousands of monks, China and Russia blocked discussion of diplomatic sanctions or a statement of condemnation from the United Nations Security Council.

Riot police in Yangon.


Burmese soldiers release smoke cannisters.

BOGUS CHURCH BLOODIED BUT UNBOWED

I am an ordained minister. I practice my ministry under the auspices of the Universal Life Church (ULC). I was ordained eight years ago in an elaborate, coronation-style ceremony. I even have a "congregation," known as the Assembly of Truth, and am empowered by the state of California to officiate weddings.

Founded by an illiterate Christian in 1959, the ULC has ordained more ministers than any other church in history. It’s motto the notion that all people should be accepted regardless of their faith, the ULC has ordained over 20 million ministers since 1959. The church’s primary tenet ("We are all children of the same universe") is rather uncontroversial.

The ULC is funded by donations and offers free ordination. The church offers a slew of premium religious titles including (in alphabetic order) Angel, Archbishop, Deacon, Dervish, Dr of Divinity, Dr. of Metaphysics, Goddess, Jedi Knight, Most Reverend, Pastor General, Prince, Prophet, Rabbi, Rector, Revelator, Reverend Mother, Right Reverend, Shaman, Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, Vicar and Visionary.

Last week, a York County judge ruled that a couple’s marriage, performed by a ULC minister, was not valid under Pennsylvania law.

The couple, who broke up after seven months of marriage, had wondered whether their wedding, officiated by bogus minister Adam Johnston of the ULC, was even legal under state law.

Judge Maria Musti Cook ruled that Reverend Johnston had not been a member of the ULC prior to his ordination and did not have a congregation. Under Pennsylvania law, judges, mayors and the ministers, priests or rabbis of a "regularly established church or congregation" have the power to officiate weddings. Accordingly, Judge Cook decided that the wedding of Dorie Heyer and Jacob Hollerbrush was not legally valid.

Reverend Johnston himself testified that he did not meet regularly with his congregation and did not have a place of worship.

Ms. Heyer said of her own wedding: "It makes a mockery out of the whole marriage system."

G. Martin Freedman, president of the ULC Monastery, plans to challenge Cook’s ruling. Freedman commented that the choice to accept ministers of some churches but not others was arbitrary and unconstitutional. The First Amendment of the constitution mandates a separation of church and state.

The ULC is no stranger to the legal process, having fought for its right to exist for the past 48 years. The church maintains on its web site an up-to-the-minute index of its legal status in each of the 50 states.

As an unlicensed attorney, I believe the bogus church is on solid legal ground in its appeal. Judge Cook’s verdict raises very serious constitutional questions concerning church and state. Should state governments, be allowed to decide to accept some religions and reject others? What is to prevent the wholesome state of Utah from expelling all non-Mormons--or decreeing that only bigamy is valid?

(Catholics are drunks.)